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UniqueCreativeGirl

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Acceptance

2 min read
After now three years, I am now coming to terms with what happened with Jenny. I didn't ever think I would, but I'm getting there, slowly and finally. I just never really realised the big affect it had on me, I don't everyone else in my family does either. But now, it has changed me. But also, there are other things for me to come to terms with.

Like the sense of abandonment from my father all those years of growing up, him never really being there. You know whilst growing up I always saw him as a stranger who went to work all the time and went on a lot of holidays. I never really saw him as a father. He was never physically or emotionally there.

Another thing is that I have to come to terms with is the bullying back in the school days. I never forgot all the things they called me.

The next thing is my sister - or half sister I should say and her hatred or jealously or whatever she feels towards me.

One of the most important things that I must come to terms with my family, both sides. It's either I don't know them very well or I do but they've always teased me my whole life and I know, they're family. But sometimes, words hurt and I never felt I belonged, not on either side.

The last thing is that I have to come to acceptance with...me. I never liked myself. I always felt there was something wrong with me, because people in my life always leave. I think I need to like myself in order for everything else to make sense.

Coming accept something that is apart of you is hard, and it takes time. Never let anyone tell you to get over it because in truth, you can't. It will always be apart of who you are and it will make the world become a lot cleaer. But don't give up, don't give up on hope and yourself. Just know, things get better, no matter how much in the dark you are.
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Families Suck

1 min read
You know throughout what happened with Jenny (mother), I had no one.

My Dad - Steve - was hardly there through childhood. He wasn't there when I had to go to the hospital, he wasn't there when I went on my first school trip, he was hardly there. And now, I'm living with some complete stranger. Yeah we may get on at times, but in the end he never truly knows me.

If he did he would understand how broken I am inside and that I feel so alone.

My sister - Jade - she always had someone. Back then all of our family was still living close.

Then she left, and all of Jenny's attention turned onto me. And I'm not Jade, I didn't have great friends like she did at school. I didn't have much of a family around that time either. I sat alone at school thinking to myself, "What have I done wrong now?"
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Fading Away

2 min read
That lighter, calming, relaxing feeling is fading away and I'm starting to panic. I don't want it to go away, I've never felt this happy. I've never felt this at peace with everything. I just don't want it to go away.

I actually still had the feeling this morning, but my stupid Dad had to ruin it with his "I-don't-take-anything-seriously" thing he has going on, which makes me dislike him even more. For almost ruining that feeling for me.

Like I said, I've never felt like this. Not a birthdays, Christmas, anything. I've always felt like there's been a weight on my shoulders, like I'm so alone in the world and when I smiled, it always felt like I had to, not because I wanted to.

Sometimes, when I'm with my family, I'm forced to smile but it never reaches my eyes.

But yesterday, I couldn't stop smiling and it felt good. I wanted to smile that day. I was happy and I never knew what it felt like to be happy until yesterday. And I didn't feel like an outsider.

But now, its fading to the point where I'm thinking its all just a dream...

Although, the lightness is still there and I'm just hanging onto it.

Hopfully, as the day goes on, happiness will come back again.
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Have you ever had a dream which you actually learned something from? Like something that was always there but you could never figure it out? I never really thought that dreams could change your life, until last night.

I didn't know how the dream started, but I knew two people in the dream, myself and a girl from my photography class. We used to be friends but had a bit of a falling out, so now we hardly speak, so I was surprised to find her in the dream. The other person though - who was a guy - I didn't know, I couldn't fit his face anywhere.

So anyways, I found myself wanting to were something else (which I have no idea why) and I came up with this weird plan that the girl from my class could get change into what I was wearing then and I could change into what I wanted to wear.

As we tried to do that, a little girl came over to me and started asking questions about why my cousin killed himself. In reality, none of my cousins have done that, but in the dream I was furious and shouted at the little girl, saying that he was in fact murdered and it was made to look like he killed himself. So then the little ran off to her teacher in tears.

Me and the girl from my class were unable to get change as there was a sudden meeting about something to do with Science. So that's when we went to sit down, the girl sitting down in the middle of me and the boy (who then was wearing glasses). As the person at the front was talking about - as the topic changed to Art - I tried to talk to the two.

But the boy angrily whispered at me that he wanted to listen to what they were saying.

The girl from my class got mad too and said something that is still in my head.

"God, you're so full of hatred. I wouldn't be surprised if you never fall in love!"

I had no idea where that came from, but next thing I knew I was crying out of where we were and in the toilets, where I was crying my eyes out.

I knew only apart of what she said was true, that I might not ever fall in love, because I have never been in love. But the hatred part, I didn't know what to think about that.

The next thing I knew I was woken up by my alarm, and I somehow felt...different. I didn't know if it was a good or bad different. But...I don't know...I suddenly felt lighter.

So is it true? Can dreams change you and what you think? Or maybe it was something deep down that wanted to be said...
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A question for all you book lovers out there! I almost at the end of my novel but I is thinking redoing it.

The reason is because the story if from a one person's Point of View, so like lots of "I's" and "we's" you know, stuff like that.

But now I am changing it from that it is no one's POV, so I can write about other characters in the book.

So what do you think, POV or no POV. Do you like that there's mystery when it comes from a POV? Or do you like to see what else is going on? Let me know!
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Featured

Acceptance by UniqueCreativeGirl, journal

Families Suck by UniqueCreativeGirl, journal

Fading Away by UniqueCreativeGirl, journal

A Dream Can Change You. by UniqueCreativeGirl, journal

Mystery POV or No POV? by UniqueCreativeGirl, journal