After now three years, I am now coming to terms with what happened with Jenny. I didn't ever think I would, but I'm getting there, slowly and finally. I just never really realised the big affect it had on me, I don't everyone else in my family does either. But now, it has changed me. But also, there are other things for me to come to terms with.
Like the sense of abandonment from my father all those years of growing up, him never really being there. You know whilst growing up I always saw him as a stranger who went to work all the time and went on a lot of holidays. I never really saw him as a father. He was never physically or emotionally there.
Another thing is that I have to come to terms with is the bullying back in the school days. I never forgot all the things they called me.
The next thing is my sister - or half sister I should say and her hatred or jealously or whatever she feels towards me.
One of the most important things that I must come to terms with my family, both sides. It's either I don't know them very well or I do but they've always teased me my whole life and I know, they're family. But sometimes, words hurt and I never felt I belonged, not on either side.
The last thing is that I have to come to acceptance with...me. I never liked myself. I always felt there was something wrong with me, because people in my life always leave. I think I need to like myself in order for everything else to make sense.
Coming accept something that is apart of you is hard, and it takes time. Never let anyone tell you to get over it because in truth, you can't. It will always be apart of who you are and it will make the world become a lot cleaer. But don't give up, don't give up on hope and yourself. Just know, things get better, no matter how much in the dark you are.